Joanne 2.0 launched at The Artea Room

Over the past year, we’ve heard it time and time again in the tearoom:

“Joanne’s everywhere!”
“Joanne never stops!”
“Is there more than one of her?!”

Well… for one day only…

There was.

After months of “careful planning” (and several slightly questionable experiments), we officially unveiled our latest upgrade:

Joanne 2.0™

Designed to take The Artea Room experience to the next level, Joanne 2.0 came fully equipped with:

• extra arms for carrying more plates than seems physically possible

• simultaneous tea pouring across multiple tables

• the ability to clear your table while you’re still eating

• chatting to two tables at once while still updating Chrissy on orders

• a built-in radar for empty teacups

We “trialled” Joanne 2.0 in the tearoom on 1 April, and initial feedback suggested she was… exactly as unstoppable as expected.

A few minor issues…

While performance was strong, we did encounter a couple of teething problems.

Joanne 2.0 appeared to have no off switch.

Despite several attempts, we were unable to power her down. Current methods under review include:

• luring her into a chair with a biscuit

• switching the lights off and hoping she powers down

• letting her run continuously until she eventually reboots mid-service

We can confirm she also requires occasional recharging… although early signs suggest she simply refuses to stop moving long enough for that to happen.

What’s next?

Following the (mostly successful) trial, we are now exploring the possibility of expanding the programme.

Next in development:

Chrissy 2.0

Primarily focused on increasing cake output to previously unthinkable levels.

We are both excited… and slightly concerned.

A quick note

For anyone wondering — this was, of course, our April Fools.

The real Joanne is still very much here, still doing an incredible job, and still somehow managing to be everywhere at once.

(Although we did briefly lose track of which one was which.)